Well, I finally did it.

I walked across a stage today and got a piece of paper that said that I was a smart person with a great future. I'm not one for pomp and circumstance, puffery and ceremony, but it was really really nice. Its taken me a bit longer than I thought it would, but thats only due to my own shortcomings. Tomorrow I start working. How many people can say that? (Quite a few I'm sure.) I have a major post in mind, one final act of arrogant self-indulgence before I turn this blog into something with a message and a direction that doesn't just serve to inflate my sense of self.

stay tuned. mea maxima culpa coming soon

Ballad of the Crackerman (careful, this is a RANT)

I haven't been around very long, but I have learned a few things in my short time here on Earth. For example, when someone uses the phrase "No hard feelings" as a farewell remark, they're probably lying.

Triumphant(?) return

Well, I'm back. I always thought I'd never come back to this place and that it would just languish for eternity on the hard drive of some long-forgotten server slowly decaying, but that would be too dignified. So, here I am with further attempts to pollute your thoughts with my rambling, disjointed rants about whatever... follow me down below the break, if you dare.

the nfl becomes the nba; or my golf clap for the patriots

well, its finally happened. the nfl's ongoing man-crush with Tom Brady has hit an all time high. after watching the patriots go 16-0  on saturday night, a few things occurred to me. but before i go any further, i would like to congratulate thenew england patriots on becoming the 4th team in nfl history to go undefeated in the regular season, and for doing so in the same season that their coach was caught cheating. (16-0 don't sound so great now does it?) 

things i noticed on saturday night.

1)the giants became public enemy no. 1

im not really upset at the nfl or its announcers for being biased, who can blame them for being excited about witnessing history? with that said, however, making comments about the giants that sound like they are the grinch trying to steal christmas are way out of line. when i heard cris collinsworth say "the giants have been playing downright nasty on defense" i almost screamed. the game i saw was the patriots o-line forgetting to show up for the first 3 quarters of the game, and the giants D playing near perfect in that same stretch of time. 

2) all announcers must be contractually obligated to say Tom Brady's name at least 4 times a minute.

not much to say here, but its kinda gross how brady gets talked about. i understand the guy is a star, but come on! they talk about him non-stop when he's on the field and then when he's off, they talk about him some more!  last i checked, football was the ultimate team sport, but you wouldnt think that when tom brady plays, apparently he can do no wrong. 

now to the substance of my discontent.

3) i think i witnessed the refs giving the game to the patriots.

im not sure if im making a mountain out of a molehill, and i dont know if anyone else witnessed this, but in the 4th quarter  the referees handed the patriots 15 yards for free. in a game of inches, 15 yards means a heck of a lot. this came after the patriots made an amazing play to take the lead after struggling through much of the game. brady let off a beautiful pass to randy moss on which the defender left moss wide open. now, while that was a huge shift in momentum, what happened on the ensuing kick-off sealed the deal. after a decent kick return, there was a questionable hit by one of the patriots' players on the sideline. the refs called a 15 yard personal foul on randy moss, who was 50 yards away on the other side of the field and, needless to say, on the patriots. this is where things start to stink. the referees proceed to push the giants BACKWARDS 15 yards with absolutely no explanation. 

thats it... they give the patriots 15 yards after calling a penalty on them. i believe that call is what sealed the game for the patriots. i dont usually complain about officiating, but this was downright shameful, at least clarify why the call was reversed. its kind of disheartening to see the nfl fall head over heals in love with not just a team, but a single player. i mean, i respect the patriots a little, but lets look at it this way, theyve had a pretty easy schedule, they have a really really good offense, the refs seem to like them a little more than their opponents (no touching tom brady!), and last but not least, bill belichick was caught  cheating

good luck in the playoffs boys, it ain't a perfect season until you got the lombardi

happy new year everyone

ps 

i dont know how much longer this blog will be around

i want this

I WANT TO POOP GOLD!!!!!

http://www.luxurylaunches.com/other_stuff/gold_pills_a_sumptuous_ingestion.php

everyone pitch in and buy me these... if you love me, you will help me acheive my dream

life is really interesting, matters of the heart and the head and whatnot. sometimes it can be overwhelming, ive learned alot in the last few weeks, and im in a really happy at the moment

good night and good luck

hi

ok, so ive decided, my computer is allergic to firefox... ive tried every remedy imaginable... it just wont install on my baby.  i guess now im gonna miss that bandwagon... oh well

good night and good luck...

happy jesusbirthday suckaz!!!!

as much as i love christmas, it pains me when thanksgiving is over... (i work in retail) my soul breaks inside as i realize that as soon as the shopping season begins, people change.

normal person (say around august 10th):


notice the happy carefree look, and even a smile!!!!! these people come into our store, and are nice, conversational, and will even overlook slight deficiencies in our store.

but... as soon as the black friday adrenaline rush is over... between november 28th-december 1st a change occurs, people begin to look like this:
(parental advisory suggested)


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know, the change is startling... but unfortunatley this is what christmas shopping does to the ordinary consumer. these creatures do not have any tolerance for even the slightest mistake. if i were to say mistakenly key in the wrong discount for an item even by 10 cents, i would have to take off running to the back of the store to go look for my boomstick... they LOSE CONTROL!!!! unfortunatley, this issue makes me dread christmas. i mean, jesus wasnt even born in december!!! meh, im not gonna get into that, itll only get me in trouble.

anyways, the best thing ive found to deal with the evil shopper is to disarm them. if you see the eyes of some old black lady roll back when you inform her that the bible she wants doesnt come in burgundy leather you know the attack is coming. what you can do to deflect some of the impending rage that will be thrown your way is to smile, and say..."let me go check in the back" and when you come out the chainsaw that you hid in the break room should be unnecessary, as the customer should have had a chance to come to terms with the fact that the product that she wants doesnt exist.

that is all