happy jesusbirthday suckaz!!!!

as much as i love christmas, it pains me when thanksgiving is over... (i work in retail) my soul breaks inside as i realize that as soon as the shopping season begins, people change.

normal person (say around august 10th):


notice the happy carefree look, and even a smile!!!!! these people come into our store, and are nice, conversational, and will even overlook slight deficiencies in our store.

but... as soon as the black friday adrenaline rush is over... between november 28th-december 1st a change occurs, people begin to look like this:
(parental advisory suggested)


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know, the change is startling... but unfortunatley this is what christmas shopping does to the ordinary consumer. these creatures do not have any tolerance for even the slightest mistake. if i were to say mistakenly key in the wrong discount for an item even by 10 cents, i would have to take off running to the back of the store to go look for my boomstick... they LOSE CONTROL!!!! unfortunatley, this issue makes me dread christmas. i mean, jesus wasnt even born in december!!! meh, im not gonna get into that, itll only get me in trouble.

anyways, the best thing ive found to deal with the evil shopper is to disarm them. if you see the eyes of some old black lady roll back when you inform her that the bible she wants doesnt come in burgundy leather you know the attack is coming. what you can do to deflect some of the impending rage that will be thrown your way is to smile, and say..."let me go check in the back" and when you come out the chainsaw that you hid in the break room should be unnecessary, as the customer should have had a chance to come to terms with the fact that the product that she wants doesnt exist.

that is all

return to glory

i havent written here in a while... ive all but forgotten i had a blog.

so there i was, sitting at home one sunday afternoon, when i get a call from some buddies "scott come to the as i lay dying show!!" so im like, "of course!!! let me put some pants on!!!" (i was wearing shorts at the time...dont worry, i usually have clothes on) so i hop in some kids car that smokes alot, and we drive really fast to ft lauderdale.

long story short, yea, thats my tongue after the show :) IT WAS MAGICAL!!! i was in the pit and i caught an elbow to the mouth, funny thing was, my mouth was closed, but my teeth were open. i didnt bite my tongue; the sheer force of the kids elbow hitting my jaw caused my tongue to ram into my teeth causing the above damage. i bled a little, spat out some blood, then jumped right back into the fray to fight the invisible ninjas

we saw some great hardcore bands and i danced the night away. with my elbows, fists, a couple spin kicks, knees, back. it was great. i couldnt walk for like 3 days after that.
i think my favorite part of the night was during the last song that as i lay dying played, i was in the pit, and some dude punches me in the chest, which happens, its part of the scene. but i look at the guy and it turns out that this random dude is one of my really good friends that i havent seen in forever! so i kicked him in the stomach and we hugged while the band was finishing.

i <3 hXc